The VAGenna Monologues
psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

#fuckoff

ryandonato:

Eamo Donnelly — Studies in Broadcast Colour

fuckinginappropriate:

is weed just illegal because it’s actually the cure for PMS and because patriarchy?

This can’t be good.

I refuse to say this out loud, so I will confide with you tumblr. I have baby fever. (!!!!!) Shhh FUCK. I know. Now it’s not like I’m going to go out and buy one or anything. But I feel like every time I’m around a baby I start to think, “aww. It’s all soft and it smells good. The parents don’t seem too on edge. Maybe this would be fun.”
I blame mother nature. I totally understand what Marisa Tomei ment in My Cousin Vinny. If you don’t know what scene I’m referring to look up biological clock scene My Cousin Vinny. It’s hilarious.
Babies.
This word used to frighten me. I would instantly get images of screaming and crying children with dirty smelly diapers. The mother would be filthy, tired, terrible hair and have stains all over her grey sweats. Essentially Kate Gosling before the tummy tuck, TV series and the messy divorce.

I also blame Facebook. I’m twenty eight. It’s harder to find women my age who don’t have kids then who do. Girls I graduated with no longer have any pictures of themselves at football games or taking body shots off one another. It’s now just a sweet little pudgy face “Jasmine’s first trip to Walmart.”
There are pictures of babies everywhere. There is status updates of what they did with their kids and if they are lucky, the baby daddy. I see their pictures from the first day of school followed by a status update how they got a l bruised knee on the playground that day. I know these girls kids better then I knew them in high school.
I blame working in a restaurant. You gotta flirt with the babies if you want the mom to like you. Honestly, sometimes the kids are way more fun to talk to then the parents. But most of the time I can get out of scrubbing something for a little bit if I’m making little kids jump as high as they can to get the quarter out of my hand.
Kids are fun damn it…there is no way I could nanny though. My kid will be awesome, others children can be assholes. I can barely put up with working with drunks who are a lot like being in a room with toddlers, but you can be mean to those fucks with out having to worry about it messing them up down the road. I digress. Babies are adorable. I’ve been lucky enough to run across a toddler that is so awesome. I’m going to try not to geek out too much about them so I’ll make this short. He was so entertained by the simplest things. His little laugh was infectious and he smelled like the cleanest thing in the world. Ok. I’m done.
So now it’s out there… For all three of you who read this blog to know. Gross.

spanknastyfresh:


NASA just landed a rover on Mars, this is the very first picture.  This JUST happened minutes ago.
1:42am EST 8/6/2012

Amazing. Just amazing.

spanknastyfresh:

NASA just landed a rover on Mars, this is the very first picture.  This JUST happened minutes ago.

1:42am EST 8/6/2012

Amazing. Just amazing.

rolandslinger:

Umm….no.

I wanna go

rolandslinger:

Umm….no.

I wanna go

Fantastic voyage @stephenlately  (Taken with Instagram)

Fantastic voyage @stephenlately (Taken with Instagram)